Last week, I spent a day in the intensive care unit of our Asheville hospital with friends of my niece Martha Brown. Their college age daughter had suffered a heart attack in her dorm bunk early on Sunday morning. Her roommate and the paramedics had tried to revive her, and a helicopter brought her into the hospital. Her family came hurriedly from Charlotte. She remained in a coma while the medical team tried to save her. But by Thursday an MRI revealed severe and irreparable brain damage. The decision was made to remove life support and the time was set for Friday afternoon. She had indicated on her driver’s license a desire to be an organ donor, so harvesting teams arrived from Kentucky, Ohio and Charlotte. The family was in shock and deep pain as they gathered around her motionless body. Martha asked me to go with her to be with these friends. Before going, I wrote a custom prayer pompt for them. My experience as a pastor has been that people can be in such deep distress at a time like this that they can do no more than cry out to God in anguish. And that is fine as that is profoundly real in terms of being open with God in the moment. God knows and hears and understands that cry – no mistaking the message! But I find that people also want to communicate with God with other words, so I have often given them a special prayer prompt to use as helpful. The family expressed deep appreciation later for this “thread of prayer” that helped them shape and express the prayers in their hearts. I realized that I did not touch on custom prompts for special times in the book, so I thought I might share in this blog this one I gave them for that final Friday.
Prayer for the Family and Friends of ……..
Eternal, loving God: We come with hearts full of pain and minds numbed by shock, with deep gratitude that we can trust that you are with us and that you know our pain and understand our shock. We give you thanks for the gift of Kelly’s life. We thank you for all that she has meant to those she has loved and who have loved her. And we thank you for all of those who have shared with us this painful time and who are with us in their spirits today. We pray for Kelly. We wish deep in our hearts for a miracle of healing that would bring her back to us in full health and vigor. But our minds know that the damage is severe and irreparable. We pray now that she may make the transition from this life into your keeping peacefully. We received her from you and we reluctantly return her to your keeping, but with joy in the faith that she, like us, is not alone but that you are with her in this transition. Give us courage to face this difficult loss, the confidence that we are secure in your love and care even if in our pain and shock it may be difficult to feel your presence. Help us to make wise decisions on this new path, to support each other and to grow closer to each other in the sharing. Wrap us in the arms of your love and give us what we need in order to do faithfully what we are called to do in this difficult time…
The prayer is then launched and can go wherever else the one who prays wants it to go. Being with these people of faith in this tragic time, and watching their community of faith surround the family with loving presence, was a powerful testimony to what the Christian community can be and do. Hard days lie ahead, and those good people will be there for them as they draw together on the resources of their faith.
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